sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
