I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
