Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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