You can't special order awesome
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
