the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
