that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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