Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
