We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it's like iHOP with fire
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
