yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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