I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She said her name was "party"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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