the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
