I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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