I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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