Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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