Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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