Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
