The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
