I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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