Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
worst night to have a conscience
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
