she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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