I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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