But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
