i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Randomize
