Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
