you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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