i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
