found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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