Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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