Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
