We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
