pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
