Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
ok first of all what the fuck
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
