Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
