Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
