i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
