I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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