when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
