i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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