i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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