Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
