I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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