we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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