I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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