My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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