So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
