he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
