I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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