This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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