Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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