their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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