i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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