I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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