All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
