it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
