You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
