help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
