There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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