so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
