I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
